• July 24, 2012
• kyralinoser
• Psychic Life Coaching

Life and Afterlife Coaching: Q & A on Setting Psychic Boundaries

“How do I know if I need a psychic boundary in one of my relationships?”

*If you consistently feel physically or psychically drained around someone, you may be giving too much time, attention and energy to this person. Try this psychological litmus test: HALT. Use the HALT acronym (which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and/or Tired) to test if you need to stop and reevaluate how much self-care you need. Sometimes a lack of self-care is an indication that you are taking care of others more than necessary.

*If you have a lot of drama in your life, it could be a sign that you’d benefit from incorporating more psychic boundaries into some of your relationships.

“How can I find out the specific things I should and shouldn’t tolerate?”

*Decide what you will and will not accept in each relationship. You may have some general deal breakers, but you might want to decide about certain relationships on a case-by-case basis.

*Make a regular practise of respecting your own time, feelings, needs, and desires. Treat yourself how you expect to be treated so that you know what you want from others. Additionally, your behaviour toward yourself broadcasts a psychic signal to others and gives them instructions on how you expect to be treated. Self-neglect gives others permission to ignore you, too.

Reject neglect. Expect respect.

“Why do I sometimes hesitate to set a boundary?”

*Sometimes we are hesitant to set boundaries because we think it will be complicated, we don’t know if we’ll find the “right” words, or we fear we’ll feel guilty or be rejected. If you’re concerned about what to say when setting a boundary, just know that your decision doesn’t have to be justified. “No” is a complete sentence.

*If you are feeling guilty about setting a boundary and wondering if you should take it back, remember that feelings aren’t facts.

*If someone leaves your life because you set a reasonable boundary, they may not have respected you in the first place.

“How can I get more respect in my relationships?”

*Be upfront and direct about your expectations in relationships. State the consequences if those expectations are not met. If your boundary is not respected, follow through on those consequences.

*Reward those who do respect your boundaries.

*Respect others’ psychic boundaries.

“Okay, I’m getting more comfortable with telling people what my limits are. How do I know if I’ve gone too far?”

*If your boundaries are too weak, you may find yourself saying “yes” more than you would like.

*If your boundaries are too strong, you might be saying “no” most of the time. Rigid boundaries might impede you from being understood by others on a spiritual and emotional level. Too much protection means you will likely miss out on many relationships.

*Look for support from trusted people when you want to talk about your progress in setting boundaries. It takes self-esteem to ask others for help when you need it, and that act of confidence alone will build your self-respect, which will in turn encourage better treatment from others.

As you work on this process of discerning what you do and don’t want to have as part of your life, you might notice some changes taking place. There could be a gradual building of new relationships, the return of old, forgotten goals, and a deeper connection with the Divine as a result of your newfound spare time.

Suggested Reading: Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

For a private psychic reading on the relationships in your life, or on relationships in the future, please visit https://www.kyraoser.com/