Dear Kyra,
Family is very important to me. We all used to be very close. For the past several years, there has been this “silent feud” between my mother and her older sister. Neither one of them speaks to each other. The last time they saw and maybe somewhat spoke was at my grandmother’s funeral. Out of respect to my mother, I have not spoken to my Aunt in all these years, and I feel wrong about it, but my aunt has also not spoken to me. My sister has a relationship with my aunt and it tears my mother apart. There is something going on between my aunt and sister that seems a bit odd. Why does my aunt hate my mother so much? Is my sister hiding something? Will this feud between my mother, aunt and sister end, and end happily where everyone is speaking again? We are not getting any younger…
“Family Matters”, CA
February 4, 1975
Dear Family Matters,
The planet Saturn rules life lessons. These are the challenges we’ve been given that can be learned and overcome with wisdom and maturity. Both you and your mother share a Saturn in Cancer, whereas your aunt and sister have a common Saturn in Taurus.
Saturn in Cancer means that your greatest life challenge will revolve around gaining emotional security and acceptance from your family of origin. Your mother faces the same challenge. Additionally, your aunt is a Cancer with her Mercury and Venus also in Cancer, so she was placed on yours and your mother’s path as an opportunity for growth in the form of an obstacle. Without conflict, there isn’t much incentive for self-improvement, and your aunt has definitely been giving you and your mother a chance to grow.
Your sister and aunt will have it easier when it comes to being accepted by family because their Saturn is in Taurus, rather than Cancer. Basically, that means that their major life issues will revolve around money rather than relationships.
The Hermit
Your aunt has her Sun, Mercury, and Venus in Cancer, so she will tend to retreat for long periods of time if she feels hurt. Her Moon, Neptune, and North Node are all in Virgo, so she also can be perfectionistic. As a result, she may suffer from projecting unattainable standards and unreasonable expectations onto relationships, which will often leave her lonely. She is akin to the “Hermit” card in the Rider-Waite tarot deck. She probably got along with your mother at one time because they share a Moon in Virgo, and they are both water signs. However, with your mother being a Sun and Mercury in Pisces and your aunt having so much of the Pisces’ opposite sign, Virgo, in her chart, it will sometimes feel to them as if they are speaking a different language and can’t come to a common understanding. Your aunt imagines that she was given some unfair disadvantages in life, particularly financially (she will frequently harbour monetary fears, no matter how well she is doing), and tends to blame your mother for this because she does not know who else to blame and we often point the finger at those who are closest to us. Your aunt has not yet incorporated compromise into her relationships, and these righteous tendencies are hurting her even more than it is presently upsetting you and your mom. Ask yourself if you have stopped talking to your aunt only out of solidarity with your mom, or for your own reasons. If you are sacrificing your relationship with your aunt solely to please your mom, please know that the door is open at any time to talk to your aunt if you should choose to stay in touch, whether or not she initiated the estrangement. It isn’t making your mother’s life any easier or better for you to be uncommunicative with your aunt, so you will not be adversely affecting your mother if you reach out to her sister.
Nevertheless, your mom’s North Node Destiny Planet is in Cancer, so she truly is meant to learn from your aunt and other Cancers. It’s no mistake that your aunt is providing her with an internal conflict, as it was planned in their charts before birth to learn great lessons from one anothers’ behaviour and choices. It also means that this is not the first lifetime when they have had disputes with one another. In fact, your aunt’s Mars (planet of war) sign is in Pisces, which is your mother’s Sun sign. That means they probably were in combat with one another, most likely during the Revolutionary War. They planned to be reborn into the same country to resolve the discord that they were unable to rectify during the 18th century. Although they were on the same side, your mother might have abandoned your aunt during battle, and her sister is still holding a subconscious grudge because she may have subsequently been severely injured or even died. As for your own sister, her Mars in Scorpio indicates a fighting nature, and she also has had at least one lifetime as a soldier. However, the karmic connections in her chart are not as predominant with your aunt and mother as they are with you. As for your past life connection to your aunt, you have Mars in Capricorn, which rivals her Sun sign and means that you have therefore been on opposing sides of a war before.
You have a Sun and Mercury in Aquarius as well as a Moon in Sagittarius, which means that you will probably become a compatible friend with your sister someday. Due to the fact that you have a Jupiter and Moon in Sagittarius combined with a Neptune and Venus in Pisces, you are highly intuitive and may have psychic abilities, so trust your instincts in general, especially about something not being quite right in this situation. Additionally, your North Node in Sagittarius indicates that you were charted to learn from your sister and other Sagittarians in this lifetime. It also means that you have known your sister in a previous lifetime. Because your Moon in her Sun sign, she was very likely your mother or grandmother in another time period. That means that you both have some maternal karma to work out together, so it makes sense that you found yourselves enmeshed in an uncomfortable conflict with your mother and her own sister. Your sister is meant to be a writer in this lifetime, and her challenges in this situation will prove to be an inspiration for her future work. Conversely, you are supposed to work in a humanitarian field on an international level. At some point, you will notice that your family issues have blessed you with the motivation to reach out and help other people whose families are not able to be there for them as a source of emotional support.
Three of Cups
Your sister is a Sagittarius with Moon in Gemini, which combined with her North Node in Aquarius, is not a family-oriented combination. She is freedom-loving and will not feel much loyalty or allegiance to family. She will tend to have a stronger affinity for friends and acquaintances. Due to her Saturn in Taurus, she has an almost insatiable need to quell her money fears, so she could benefit from being careful not to “sell out”. It is likely that your sister is getting help from your aunt that is in some way making her feel more secure. Your aunt tries to be like a mother to her, which makes your mother’s sister imagine that she somehow has power over your mother. Why would she do that? Your aunt feels she has no real control over her own life, particularly in romance. Because she’s experiencing some unhappiness in her personal life, your aunt attempts to exert control over the only relationships where her influence can be felt. She feels helpless, is in tremendous emotional pain, and has lost a sense of faith in a higher consciousness. You can learn from your aunt’s spiritual quandary by building faith in your own family situation with something like a prayer for their happiness and peace. “May they be happy, may they be peaceful, may they be free from fear, may they know love, may they be loved…may they be happy.” You can say this prayer first for yourself, then for your family, and then for someone in the world whom you haven’t met yet. In the latter instance, see the soul appearing to you, accept whatever form the vision or feeling takes, and send the love of this prayer to someone in need.
As for your sister’s relationship with your mom, a Mercury in Capricorn will make it most difficult for her to communicate with Cancers, which is your mom’s Sun sign. The good news is that your sister is destined to learn from you and other Aquarians, based on her North Node in that same sign. You and your sister will be able to repair your relationship and find some joy and good humour in life together, much like the spirited celebration depicted in the Three of Cups tarot card. Meanwhile, your mother and aunt will face a more challenging and lengthy reconciliation, due to the obstacles in their charts and in their hearts. As circumstances change in all of your lives, your aunt and mother will find a way to communicate on their own terms and when the time is most auspicious.
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