“The Secret Behind ‘The Secret’, Part I”

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 Life and Afterlife Coaching: “The Secret Behind ‘The Secret’, Part I

The Secret Self and Energy Fields

Desires and fears accompany us daily, in the form of energy much like what some would call spirit guides (yet without a particular soul). These states of being guide us to make decisions. What we hope for and what we avoid resides, uninvited, in the space of our energy fields. Inner conflict can arise when fear overshadows desires.

Secret Relationships: When Energy Fields Interact

Our energy fields, comprised of subconscious thoughts, communicate with those of others, almost like separate entities. Do you want them speaking on your behalf? Others sense them intuitively and may react to us accordingly. We often find ourselves attracted to people whose energy field of mixed fears and desires seem to provide a solution for our hopes to gain approval of those with whom we have unresolved conflicts from the past. This is often an attempt to recreate and fix a parental relationship, but the process can extend to issues carried over from previous lifetimes. Sometimes dreams provide a clue about what we are suppressing in waking life and also serve as a reminder of the things we aspire to achieve.

The Real Secret Behind “The Secret”

The Secret offers a helpful solution for creating more of the life you want, but a missing component in the equation is that blocks need to be removed in order to fully believe that you can receive something different than what you have become accustomed to. The most important aspect of The Secret is practising happiness and contentment in order to attract more of the things that make you happy and content through a system of belief, much like Shakti Gawain’s earlier book, Creative Visualisation, which encourages readers to “desire, ask, believe, and receive”. It’s easy enough to manufacture a temporary state of serenity by acting as if your life is in its ideal state, which in itself is a useful and effective exercise, but maintaining that peacefulness is a challenge for all of us. Realisation of blocks can support an increase in emotional stability, which in turn allows room for more consistent manifestation.

Keep in mind that the goal is not to be happy all the time. A healthy perspective includes acknowledging a wide range of emotions. The purpose of this exercise is to get you closer to the life you want. Sometimes what you want will change, and other times it will be eclipsed by a divine consciousness that knows what we need more than we do ourselves. It often happens that we are able to appreciate the unexpected direction our lives took only with years of hindsight. Other times we have a calling that is closely aligned with our spiritual destiny, which makes manifestation easier because our desires are not in conflict with what we came here to do (dharma).


Dharma Wheel

Facing Secret Fears, Exercise I

How can you remove a block to Manifestation? Here’s Step 1 of an exercise to begin with:

Write your deepest fear
Write the fear that causes that fear
Write the fear that causes that fear

…and so on, until you discover the core fear you are dealing with now.

An example could be:

“I’m afraid I’ll never get my career going
(because) I’m afraid it’s too late,
(because) I’m afraid of getting old,
(because) I’m afraid of dying,
(because) I’m afraid of being destroyed.”

Now, once you’ve discovered your deepest fear behind the superficial fear, become aware of when you feel that way throughout the week. What triggers you to feel like you’re going to “be destroyed” (or whatever else you are ultimately afraid of: failure, being exposed as a fraud, ending up alone, etc.)? How does that affect your decisions? Is your fear making choices for you?

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

 


The Secret of Self-Acceptance

By the way, whatever your deepest fear is, please know that it is shared by most of humanity, including many of those who came before us. So many of us harbour the same fundamental fears; some are just more prevalent than others due to our experiences and choices, or based on what our needs are at the moment. Our fears are outdated survival mechanisms that served a purpose in getting us to this point. They have been a helpful companion on our journey; an eccentric friend that we’ve outgrown because we no longer need each other like we once did. Keep in mind that those of us who are here are the product of many, many generations of anxiety-ridden ancestors. Those who were too lackadaisacal to care wouldn’t have persevered through the process of “survival of the fittest”. Fear has a function, and a life-and-death purpose.

Why give any attention to negative fears? Can’t we just skip to the happy part? A certain degree of optimism is crucial to mental health, but it is not enough on its own to create the changes you seek. Honesty about our issues offers a realistic balance to idealism that allows us to embrace, and ultimately love, all the sometimes contradictory parts of ourselves. By extension, appreciating our foibles is good practise for accepting the endearing qualities of those we seek to love in our lives without trying to change how they already are, which is exactly as they’re meant to be at the moment. The interesting twist in all this is that the more you accept yourself, the more you accept others, and the more you accept others, the less desires you have and the smaller the need to manifest becomes. Acceptance is the key to a peaceful heart. Getting what you want is a fleeting enjoyment and sometimes costly, but acceptance is always available and never charges.

Keep track of the triggers for now, and know that you are on your way to removing blocks and thus creating some new changes in your life. Awareness of fear is the first step in this exercise. Check for updates soon on the second step, and in the meantime, know that when you become willing to do the work, you are one step closer to getting the life you want.

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